Album Review: Armchair Loyal - “All You Need Is Ndlovu”

 

This album, I dare say, is one that’s very much for a niche audience. Imagine Idles with the politics replaced by a love of '90s football. For fans of a certain age (including this long-suffering Hartlepool United supporter) there's certainly plenty of wry chuckles here right from opener Play Football With Your Heads' lyrics such as - "Before Zayn Malik, there was Frank Yallop!/Before Jeremy Vine there was Brian Kilcline!". This harks back to a time before the Premier League was a money man's playground and ordinary working class people were priced out of going to top flight games and you'd actually see the players drinking with the fans in the pub rather than throwing champagne parties at their mansions. 

Second track A Cliche Of Gaffers namechecks the likes of Steve McClaren and Alan Pardew and goes through the A to Z of football bollocks-speak while Young, Gifted and Right Back takes a humourous look at the life of lower league journeyman footballers and Fun Facts About Footballers collates a load of hilariously gibberish football trivia such as "Glenn Hoddle was the original choice to voice the Wombles!/Carlton Palmer can milk a goat blindfolded!"

The laughs come thick and fast from thereon in and the likes of Public Elleray No 1 and From Mullets To Gullits will definitely provoke a few belly laughs from football fans of a similar, erm, vintage to myself shall we say. The key is though that similar to Sleaford Mods and Idles (who are probably the two bands they most closely represent musically although there's a gaping chasm between the two in terms of song subject matter), these guys have a good knack with a catchy hook under all the frenetic electronica and the lyrics provide a much needed lighter contrast to the more serious of the aforementioned.

Like I say, this isn't an album for everyone but if like myself you're a football fan who still harkens back to the days when you could get in to the match, have a pie and a pint and still come away with enough for your train fare home from £20 then All You Need Is Ndlovu is a cracking listen.

Bandcamp link here

NITE SONGS RATING: 🌔🌔🌔🌔🌔🌔🌔🌔🌑🌑 (8/10)

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